I don’t know about you, but when I was younger I was told, “I’m going to give you something to cry about” if my parent(s) didn’t want to deal with me crying.
For so many years, “feelings” and “emotions” have been dismissed and even looked down upon. Expressing our feelings has been regarded as a weakness and out of control. So much so that many of us will go to any length to avoid them. There are a plethora of ways we avoid feeling. Some of our favorites seem to be: food, alcohol, shopping, and social media.
There are many tragedies that come from being a society that has believed this about feelings for such a long time. Firstly, we have become a population of people who turn to quick fixes to eliminate any uncomfortable feeling, which has led to an inconceivable amount of addictions. Secondly, the more we numb out, the more we disconnect from ourselves which also prevents us from being able to form genuine connections with others.
I started numbing out with food and dieting at 10 years old. And it has taken me years to realize that feelings are a gift. Feelings are our inner GPS. They are the only reason we choose to do certain things and avoid doing other things.
Want to lose weight? It’s because of how you think it will make you feel once you hit goal weight. Want to get that raise? It’s because of what you are telling yourself you will feel once you get that raise.
Want to switch careers or move to a new place but haven’t yet? It’s because you are afraid of the feeling that might come as a result of doing either.
Want to know the best news about feelings? A feeling is created by a sentence in your brain and is never dependant on any situation. You can feel anything you want without changing a thing. That is pretty magical.
Also, once we know that we can handle any feeling, our confidence increases 100 fold.
Join me on the journey to befriending our feelings. For so long I would do anything to avoid them until I realized that by getting to know my feelings, I would discover the key to achieving anything I want in life. And that my friends, is the least bit weak and insignificant.
Jennifer Oney Coaching 