We’ve been under the weather in my house. Times like these seem to highlight my weaknesses as a mom. It’s during these times that I am reminded of how I wish I could show up as a mom and the incongruence of not showing up how I’d like. And can I tell you how crappy I feel if I focus on these things? I feel awful. Defeated. I feel like escaping into something that will give me a quick fix of dopamine whether it may be a chocolate peanut butter indulgence or more screen time than I normally allow in my day.
Let me tell you how I wish I could continuously show up for my family. I would love to show up positive and encouraging, to show up like a superhero. My mind often goes to the movie, “Life is Beautiful ” and thinks how wonderful it might be if I could show up for my kids the way the father did in that movie. If you haven’t watched it he more or less makes pretend that the concentration camp that they are in is a game, trying to create fun for his child so that the son didn’t realize the horrible situation in which they were living. It’s a must watch if you haven’t seen it.
Now let me tell you how I show up at times for my kids. I worry, especially when they are sick. And this sometimes transfers into trying to control them, being overbearing, telling them to wash their hands and stay away from each other multiple times a day. And at times I go into martyr mode. Telling my family that I have done so much between all of the cooking, cleaning, etc. These are the times I am the grumpy mom. But, you see, the story doesn’t end there.
I, also, always take responsibility if I’m grumpy. I provide what they need while trying to let the ones who are well take responsibility and do what they are able to do. I am constantly trying to be aware and show up better. And the bottom line is that they know that I love them.
My point in sharing this blog is that we oftentimes focus on where we fall short in our momma roles. Or we will compare ourselves with other mom’s highlight reels and in doing this we will never measure up. You see, every momma has an imperfect side because they are human. If they show up in lovely ways for their family, we can put money on them also showing up in some unbecoming ways. We just don’t see those unbecoming ways on social media or on the screens and because of this we often sell ourselves short as not good enough mothers.
So, my encouragement today as your “life coach” is to allow your mind to point out where you may fall short, but don’t stop there. Direct it to what you are doing well and find just as many ways you are a successful mom as the ways you fall short.
The more I have been able to accept my weaknesses as a mom and focus on my strengths at the same time, the more I’ve been able to improve how I show up. Because the bottom line is that we are amazing momma’s and sometimes we are not so amazing momma’s. And sometimes that’s in the same day and sometimes that is in the same hour. And that, my dear momma’s, is totally ok.
Jennifer Oney Coaching 