Must Read if You Are a Mom

I have to be real with you all.  I have been feeling stressed recently.  And for a while I let it affect how I was showing up for my life: my kids, my husband, my coaching, and everything else.

And I know if I continue down this path, the compound effect it’ll have is severe.  The effect will be a life that I’m not present for because I’m always looking to escape through numbing out with: a screen, food, validation from others, or the other million ways that we can do this. 

Continuing down this path would ultimately affect my health on every level.  My immune system would go down and I will be miserable.  The compound effect of this stress moves me far away from everything I want in my life.

That is if I let it continue.  However, I have a gift that allows me to shift my perspective and create exactly what I want if I chose. That is the gift of coaching.  I have a coach that I speak with each week that allows me to see what I’m creating and holds a space that no friend or family member (no offense) could ever provide to me. 

At this point, you may be wondering why I’m writing this blog.  I am writing this because it occurred to me how many other momma’s are feeling the same way.  It touched me to my core when I thought of how many momma’s are feeling the same and how their lives and families are being negatively affected. 

I believe that mommas are the glue and the feeling behind most families.  It is my mission to serve all of the momma’s out there because I know this group will make a difference for future generations. 

I specialize in weight loss, but I also offer general life coaching which addresses everything. I want to help you, momma.  Each of you is amazing, you just need to be reminded and have a sacred space that honors that greatness within you.

Sign up here: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min
for a complimentary discovery session so that we can shift your trajectory and the trajectory of your babies.  

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Momma, What is your North Star?

 

Who would you show up as in your role as a mom if you weren’t looking to the cultures standards regarding how you should be and weren’t basing your parenting on what you didn’t get growing up? I know this may be a tough question because none of us live in a vacuum. Although challenging to think about, I think it is crucial to come up with our own answer. 

 

Because the ultimate answer to this question is our North Star.  

So often I’ll find myself in a state of disappointment because I’m not living up to what our culture deems to be the ideal mom. The interesting thing is that I  intentionally refocus on how I want to show up on a regular basis. However, if I’m not vigilant the cultures ideals or compensating for what I lacked as a child will sneak back into the way I show up. 

 

This only results in feeling like I can’t win. And when I feel this way, I stop showing up for myself and everyone else. I find myself distracted on my phone or with a snack I don’t need to avoid feeling the disappointment which compounds it all. 

 

So what is the solution? There are 2 steps. The first step is answering the question I asked at the beginning of this blog . The only guideposts that I use when answering this are the values from my faith. Other than this I will ask myself: when I am 95 and looking back what will I want to see regarding how I showed up as a mom throughout my life? And the number one answer always boils down to love and presence. 

 

Will my schedule and the way I cleaned the house be significant? My guess is no. Will Pinterest-like birthday parties be what I will remember? No.  It will all boil down to the thread of love I showed to myself, my children, and the world. 

 

The second step is to look at your answer every day and burn it into your memory. Be on alert for feelings of defeat and guilt, because chances are that is a sign you’ve lost sight of your own North Star. 

It’s also helpful to periodically check in and make sure that your answer still feels right for you.  

 

Momma’s, when we follow our North Star we shine brightly as we are meant to do. We come from a place of love and lightness as opposed to resentment and guilt. We empower our children and the world to chase their own North Star instead of anyone else’s.

 

And you know what this makes for? A brighter future and mental wellness for all. And that is priceless. 

Stop Believing the BS

Having a weight loss goal doesn’t mean you are vain or selfish.  Or, that you have been brainwashed by our culture to believe that thin is better and are a part of the weight discrimination club.   It also doesn’t mean not accepting yourself until you look a certain way or can fit into a certain size. 

I think that having a weight loss goal has gotten a bad wrap in our culture almost as much as thin and perfect have been something that has been pushed and promoted.  

What if your weight loss goal wasn’t a goal about how you look or your size, but it was about supporting yourself to live the best life possible because you are your healthiest version?   

What if it wasn’t about rejecting yourself because you aren’t what society tells you that you should be, but it was about creating a fun process in which you love yourself all the way down to your desired weight/right size body?  

What if it wasn’t about adopting a diet that would shrink you into a smaller version of yourself so that you could like yourself more?  But instead, it was about creating a food plan that works for you to support you to have the most energy and vitality possible?   A food plan created by you and for you that you could do for the rest of your life that sets you up to thrive?  A food plan that includes the foods that you love and others deem are “bad”?  

Our culture likes to tell us that we should be thin, perfect, and look like we are in our early twenties for the rest of our lives.  While at the same time suggests that we should be able to eat any food whenever we want, without any structure.  

If you fall into these lies, you will be on a yoyo diet for the rest of your life and not create anything that you truly desire.  You will continue to loathe yourself for not being able to live out the lies that our culture deems to be most important.  You may be in comparison mode much of the time and feel defeated after you’ve looked at social media.  You may think that you will only feel good once you’ve reached your goal weight and look a certain way.   

Being on a weight-loss journey doesn’t have to mean starving yourself and rejecting yourself until you reach that size.  

I’m here to tell you that you can lose weight and learn to manage it for good.  I’m here to tell you that you can love yourself and create a fun weight loss journey that you are excited about and capable of adopting for the rest of your life.  

 I’m also here to tell you that we are here to live out our best lives, not as ageless ornaments, but as instruments giving the world our divine inspired gifts.  If we aren’t healthy, we won’t be able to serve to our fullest potential.

Feeling good is created by a sentence in your brain and when you get to the root of an effective weight loss journey this is what you will work on the most.  The sentences in your brain are what create your feelings and ultimately create how much you weigh.

Want to embark upon the most amazing weight loss journey of your life?  Want to learn how to enjoy managing your weight in a way that is sustainable for life?  And at the same time gain skills that will give you the confidence to achieve any goal you ever desire? I’d be honored to show you how.  Sign up for a complimentary discovery session here: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min.

The Game-Changing Tool

 

It was me. I did it. It is completely my responsibility.

 

I spent so much of my life avoiding these words because of what I made them mean. I used them to beat myself up which resulted in me feeling ashamed. Little did I know that they were the ticket to my success,  freedom, evolvement, an thriving if I used them the right way.

 

When we misuse the opportunity of personal responsibility by beating ourselves up, we strip the possibility that lies in using it as a way of upgrading our life so that we can thrive.

 

For so many years, I avoided taking a look at what happened and receiving feedback because I used the information as a way to punish myself. But in doing this I was robbing myself.

 

So how you ask, do we use personal responsibility as a tool to thrive?

 

Step 1) draw a line in the sand and commit to never beat yourself up again for anything you’ve done or haven’t done.

Step 2) get really good at being consistent at step 1.

Step 3) master step 1.

Step 4) ask yourself from a curious and compassionate space, how am I completely responsible for what happened? What did I do well? What didn’t go well? What could I do differently next time?

 

You will know that you need more work on the boundary to not beat yourself up if shame and guilt keep coming up. Another indicator is if you find your self avoiding the past event and looking at how it turned.

 

On the other hand, you will know that you are using this tool in the most powerful way possible if you are curious, possibly excited, and kind to yourself.

 

This is a GAME CHANGER.

 

Want to get really good at this tool? I can help! Sign up for a free discovery session at: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min.

Time for a Life Audit

If you’ve followed me for even a brief amount of time you’ve likely heard one of my favorite quotes from Jim Rohn that states, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

 

This has been one of the most impactful quotes of my life. It’s one of the reasons why I think it’s crucial to take regular inventory of who I’m spending the majority of my time with and evaluating what I am listening to when I am alone.

 

Am I consuming the news which is geared to keep me in a state of fear at all times all in the name of good ratings? Or am I listening to powerful podcasts and reading powerful books?

 

One of the most important places to audit is the thoughts in your brain. If you are finding that you are not creating your desired life, you are holding onto a lie (or many.)

 

Ask yourself: am I listening to the part of my brain that is wired for survival and trying to convince me that I need to do everything I can to keep myself safe even if it means holing up in my house watching Netflix while eating ice cream for days straight? Or am I directing my brain and talking to myself more than I am listening and intentionally believing what I want to believe for my future and the world?

 

Look at your conversations with others to reveal what you currently believe. The conversations you participate in uncover the beliefs that have been driving you.

 

It becomes very clear as to what we have been focusing on by taking a look at our results. So after taking inventory ask yourself: what can I eliminate and what can I introduce to support the life I want to create?

 

Nothing is more valuable than this audit exercise to design a life that you love, one in which you are achieving your goals, and thoroughly enjoying your time here on earth.

 

I am about to do another audit and I invite you to do the same. Want more support? Sign up for a complimentary discovery session at: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min.

Living like your Body is an Ornament vs. Instrument

 

 

I was listening to the Compared to Who podcast the other day and Heather Creekmore posed a question that made my mind explode.  The question was: are you living from the perspective that your body is an ornament or an instrument? For so many years, before coaching, I had focused on living my life as an ornament. And for years, focusing on my physique and appearance was my default setting.  It was my escape to check out in times of discomfort. 

 

If you looked at my life 5 or so years ago, anytime the going got tough you could find me turning inward to find out how I could look better.  This was always proceeded by turning outward to find the perfect diet or workout plan. This habit did, in fact, dull my feelings temporarily.  However, as we all know, we can always find something to improve appearance-wise which makes this a perpetual, self-defeating process.

 

When I heard this ornament vs. instrument question a month or so ago, it basically summed up how I’ve been feeling in recent years. I had known that I no longer wanted to focus on being an ornament. This question clarified who I had chosen to be for myself and the world. It was a question that defined a period of time in my life. The era of being an ornament had ended and the era of being an instrument began 5 years ago. I am so grateful, thank you, Heather Creekmore, for this clarification. 

 

My purpose here is to help moms lose internal and external weight so that they can be the very best instruments in their life. The journey I provide my clients, which fulfills this goal, is the most exhilarating, life-changing experience. It is the journey I went on that began the quest to be the best instrument in my life. And I, along with several of my clients, can attest that nothing is more exciting.

 

There is a version of yourself that is waiting to be discovered.  Let’s go find her together. Book a complimentary discovery session by clicking this link: https://calendly.com/bestversion76/60min.

This is the Reason Behind Everything

I don’t know about you, but when I was younger I was told, “I’m going to give you something to cry about” if my parent(s) didn’t want to deal with me crying.

 

For so many years, “feelings” and “emotions” have been dismissed and even looked down upon. Expressing our feelings has been regarded as a weakness and out of control. So much so that many of us will go to any length to avoid them. There are a plethora of ways we avoid feeling. Some of our favorites seem to be: food, alcohol, shopping, and social media.

 

There are many tragedies that come from being a society that has believed this about feelings for such a long time. Firstly, we have become a population of people who turn to quick fixes to eliminate any uncomfortable feeling, which has led to an inconceivable amount of addictions. Secondly, the more we numb out, the more we disconnect from ourselves which also prevents us from being able to form genuine connections with others.

 

I started numbing out with food and dieting at 10 years old. And it has taken me years to realize that feelings are a gift. Feelings are our inner GPS. They are the only reason we choose to do certain things and avoid doing other things.

 

Want to lose weight? It’s because of how you think it will make you feel once you hit goal weight. Want to get that raise? It’s because of what you are telling yourself you will feel once you get that raise.

 

Want to switch careers or move to a new place but haven’t yet? It’s because you are afraid of the feeling that might come as a result of doing either.

 

Want to know the best news about feelings? A feeling is created by a sentence in your brain and is never dependant on any situation. You can feel anything you want without changing a thing. That is pretty magical.

 

Also, once we know that we can handle any feeling, our confidence increases 100 fold.

 

Join me on the journey to befriending our feelings. For so long I would do anything to avoid them until I realized that by getting to know my feelings, I would discover the key to achieving anything I want in life. And that my friends, is the least bit weak and insignificant.

A Life by Design

 

So many of us, myself included feel overwhelmed by our to-do lists. We run around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to check off all of the items, only to end up burnt out and ready to escape each evening. And if you are anything like me, you have all of the cravings for the sweets and snacks in the evening as a way to temporarily numb constantly ‘feeling inadequate.’ Ultimately, this renders us unable to be present for the most important things.

 

But the truth of the matter is that we don’t “have” to do anything in life. One practice I like to do on occasion is to take everything off my calendar and re-decide which activities and commitments I want to intentionally keep.

 

We get to create the lives we want. And by re-deciding at regular intervals whether or not it’s something that lights our fire or something we genuinely want to be a part of, we get to create a life by design instead of life by default.

The Only Reason Why You Feel the Way You Do

 

What are you blaming in your life for feeling the way you do? What have you been telling yourself is creating your frustration, overwhelm and stress? The pandemic? Your kids? your job? Your weight? Your in laws?

 

This is one of the biggest lies we continue to believe. For years I thought the reason I felt defeated, stressed, overwhelmed and frustrated was because of current events, people or conditions in my life. And for years, because of this, I had no power to change how I felt.

 

In essence, if the people and events in your life are making you feel a certain way, you have absolutely no agency or power to change how you feel. But thankfully, this is the great lie. One that you don’t have to buy into any longer.

 

Guess what is causing EVERY SINGLE FEELING that comes up in your life? A sentence in your brain.

 

And this is the BEST NEWS EVER. We can always change the sentences in our brains. We can’t on the other hand change the people, places and things around us.

 

So, I will leave you with a couple of questions: what are the main feelings you’ve been experiencing lately? And why have you been feeling this way? And the answer to the this, my friends, is the sentence responsible for your feeling.

The Secret to Losing Weight

 

Over the past couple of years I have discovered the number one secret to losing weight.

 

Ready for it?

 

It is: to embody the loving scientist, abandon your inner judge and cultivate an inner cheerleader.

 

We are wired to judge ourselves, others and our circumstances as a way to survive. This was great during the times of the saber tooth tiger, but isn’t useful and often becomes our biggest obstacle when trying to lose weight nowadays.

 

Many of my clients, myself included, have embodied the judge while trying to lose weight. But the judge informs us of all the things we aren’t doing right and that it would be more beneficial to stop trying all together. This is why most people give up on their goals. Their inner judge convinces them to quit.

 

So, you ask, what is this “loving scientist” way? The loving scientist approach is consciously deciding to abandon your inner judge. Notice it and redirect. The loving scientist takes a look at your journey periodically and asks: what went well? What didn’t work so well? And what could I do differently? The loving scientist makes adjustments as needed to figure out what works best.

 

The next equally important step: cultivate an inner cheerleader. What does this mean? Celebrate the heck out of your wins.

 

What are your wins? Anything that you want to keep repeating that is instrumental to weight loss success. Celebrate them by cultivating a narrative that makes you the hero and the badass of the journey. If you aren’t making your brain excited about your wins it’s going to want to stop all together or pursue a quick hit of dopamine in the form of your favorite food.

 

I can promise that you will see amazing results by implementing this one strategy.