“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn. This quote rocked my world a few years back. I had never examined my life in a way to determine which relationships were serving my best self and my vision.
You see, I come from a place of people pleasing, one which acceptance meant everything. This also meant that I stayed in relationships that were not the best for either party, all in the name of acceptance. However, this was an inauthentic way of being in relationship with the people around me, it was out of my own need for acceptance, that I had never given myself. If a relationship is going to serve me in being my best, and the other person in turn, it’s a win-win.
One of my favorite teachers, Lisa Nichols, talks about having two rooms of people you surround yourself with in life. One room is filled with people that you can help, teach and help to achieve their goals and the other is one who have far surpassed your own goals, almost out of your league. The latter room, is the room that will help you reach for uncomfortable goals, one in which your silence is most valuable, because what they say will help you grow immensely. I love this point she makes, because we can always be contributing to others and growing in this place.
And so, now I regularly assess who I spend my time with. Asking myself, is this relationship supporting my best self and supporting the other person to be there best?
The fact that we become who we spend the most time with is so pivotal to our lives. Do they share the same values? Are they led by their spirit or their wound? Are they a positive influence on my life? Are their dreams big? We all go through tough times, when we aren’t on point, but in general, I want to make sure these individuals align with my vision. I want to be able to go to any one of them when I’m feeling a bit lost and be able to gain their insight, knowing it’s on point, because we share the same values and they support me attaining my vision.
This quote and the awareness training that I have taken part of, created a whole new set of questions in my life. Such as, is the music I’m listening to supporting my vision? Are the books I read and the movies I watch supporting my best self? Are the minutes of my day used to create infrastructure to help me achieve my dreams?
Our time and energy are so precious and these questions are some of the most important that you can ask yourself, in my opinion. So my friends, are the five people you spend the most time with building you up and supporting your best self? Is the time you spend focused on giving you the support you need to succeed greatly? Is what you consume media wise giving you more life or weighing you down?